I just want to be a regular guy. No more no less. Just plain old anuar

This is a very subjective topic and as much as i want to talk about it, i can only do so little. For starters, being human cannot be defined with a simple word. Even if you string complicated or even scientific words together and make an intelligent thesis, it can’t really capture the essence of being human. I know i’m at a juncture, why the hell do i contradict myself here?

I’m not trying to define what being human means. I’m have no right to define how and what it is. Well, if aliens were to ask me, i’d say look at yourself and you and i are’nt any different. I’m saying after all these years living, breathing and seeing the world through my eyes i begin to question why i’m here.  Like the tweet i sent out this morning, ” men venture to the great beyond to search the meaning of life. little did they know that they are missing the whole point.”

I am a simple guy. But i tend to think alot. If you have been a loyal reader of my previous blogs or if you know me inside out, i guess this isn’t something new. So new readers!  You might it weird to read this post.

So back to topic.

You know that when you were little, you wanted to be someone. You want to help others, you want to teach, you want to inspire or you’d prefer to cut to the chase and be a high-flying billionaire who doesn’t give a damn but make more money. Whatever your amibtion is, work hard and believe you are one. If things aren’t going your way. Well then all i can say is good luck. 

I was a kid who had lots of dreams. I wanted to be an airforce pilot mostly. But let’s face it, it is near impossible for me to touch the skies. Then i wanted to be a journalist because i love writing. DUH. But i don’t want to be a loser who writes articles all day long. So you’re saying i should be an expert in IT? Nope. Even though i’m eh ehmm good at it, i don’t really want to work in that line. And no don’t even start talking about me being in politics because it ain’t my game. So what the hell am i gonna be in the future?

Clearly. Rationally, it looks like i’m gonna work in the IT line. Well i just have to ride the waves.

What im trying to say here is that i’m beginning to re-discover or a part of myself. If there’s one thing that’s showing me who i am blaring right infront of my face is that i am always taking the baton. And this is not new. That’s why im rediscovering it.  Truth is, i don’t like to lead. But there’s this little voice saying that i need to take charge. It just irks me to see people in a mess. In essence, a disorganization and no compass for them to follow. I always wanted others to rise up and lead. A little talking will make them go for it but the burning passion isn’t just there. You can’t train passion.

Another thing, im am not a hard determinist. I believe that our lives are governed by a pre-ordained destiny. Even though its written, our actions can have branching consequences. We are the driving factor here. The rest are variables meant for you to handle. When i say variables, i mean choices. We all have a choice. Confused? It means that our lives are machinated by a higher power. Confused again? Aiya just google determinism and you’ll have lots of things to read about. Philosophy and metacognition are my favourite topics. All my years living on this planet have proved me one thing; i have been guided.

Everything happens for a reason. Be it good or bad, there’s always a reason behind it. Oh yeah. I had my fair share of being in shitholes and lemons thrown at me. Well not literally. Sure initially i’ll swear and curse and god knows what kind of words exit from my foul mouth. Truth is, we are all human. If you can contain all of this things, I salute you! You can be batman! Well batman can contain all of these shit if i may. If you could just think for awhile, realize what happened and how are you going to cope with it, you can slowly pick up the pieces. If you have any religious background, remember that all of this is a test for you.

I know i sound like a goody two shoes in this post; trying to preach of all the positive things in life. Seriously i am not one. I know i have done bad things in the past and i don’t know if tomorrow i’ll commmit another bad thing. Well who does’nt eh? Whatever it is, discovering yourself is a slow and a lifelong process. I’m only discovering a portion of myself.

I hang to this quote and it does carry a whole lot of meaning to it. Seriously.

“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villian” Its from the dark knight anyway. Yeah! I’m a batman freak! Wowoo!